"sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. you got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. standing. still, the expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives."
it has been a whirlwind the past few weeks. summer has been coming at a wicked, steady pace. first with a trip to oklahoma where i got to see dearly loved friends. then graduation to watch folks end and begin a new chapter in life. and then the week-long adventure in the northeast. i sure adore boston with a huge chunk of my heart.
i could not have asked for a better adventure. the Lord dared us to move. we did and as a result, i could not have been more blessed with open hearts, kind spirits, and pure joy. hallelejuah, praise the Lord. i learned that it came down to this: WILLINGNESS. willingness to listen. to share. to photograph. to trust. to step out of the comfort zone. isn't that beautiful? anyone could have done what we did. anyone could have taken photographs. it's anyone's mission--it just takes someone to stand up through the chaos of life. and live. live fully in His strength. check it out in psalm 51:12: "keep me strong by giving me a willing spirit." seriously. everyone has a story. everyone has a neighbor. everyone has the choice to share His love. be blessed. be blessed with adventure. be blessed with hands and feet that should be willing to serve. be blessed to be a blessing to others. let what we do in church, in here fill the streets out there.
i came into camp with this perspective...
...and have been trying so hard to live that out.
this has been inarguably the hardest summer i have had at war eagle, will ever have at war eagle (especially if this is going to be my last). yes, i know that change is inevitable. yes, i know that i do struggle with transition. things are going to be different, i get it. but to have those differences conflicting with or impeding on my heart's purpose? the purpose to love on children with all of my love, which is His love, which is God himself? i feel the warfare, the inadequacy, the doubt. i feel the frustration and the hurt overwhelming my heart.
but i know this: my eyes are very limited and small compared to His. and while i have difficulties reconciling this, i pray that my heart will grasp unto His faithfulness so i can be thankful in all circumstances. and remember that He will meet me in the mountains and the valleys.
"now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. all that i know now is partial and incomplete, but then i will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." 1 corinthians 13:12.
and i praise the Lord for the kids, these kids that i get to see the joy of the Lord through. and that joy of the Lord through these precious children have been my strength, my energy, my heart, my perseverance, my pursuit. and i thank God for having my heart in His hands--for pouring into it through the blessings that comes from every moment i get with my cabin 8 girls, my cute little boys, and my growing-up, slowly but surely teens. i could not have asked for a better group of kids for session one to get to love on. seriously.
"i'm hanging on another day just to see what You will throw my way. and i'm hanging on to the words You say. You said that i will be okay. i'm falling apart. i'm barely breathing with a broken heart that's still beating. in the pain, there is healing. in Your name, i find meaning. so i'm holding on."
so, Lord, my heart is in Your hands. You hand it off however You please. every kid. every encounter. every moment. everything. free me from the circumstances, Father, and help me be free to serve You. let there be unity. let there be peace. let there be healing. let there be progress. let the light penetrate through the darkness. light Your joy and Your love and Your faithfulness in me, Father, and let that blind me so much that it'll be the only thing i can notice and focus upon. amen.
"if Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him."
No comments:
Post a Comment