i didn't know that that was You washing my feet.

summer is winding to a close. if i had to describe it in one word, i would use this: adventure. God has taken me on many adventures that has stretched my grasping fingers from holding onto my sense of control, independence. instead, He's been teaching me to seek His strength and care and that He is glorified in the fingerprints gracing everything that He has done with and for me.

COLORADO was beautiful. spending quality time with rachel and tara opened my eyes to a new level of friendship. from seeing each other every once in a while in the span of our short friendship to building camraderie that is due to the constancy of a car, a week, and a loving Father.

we all got to meet rachel's great-uncle for the first time in albuqerque, new mexico. we slept in a room with creepy dolls lurking on every possible surface of the guest room (we have pictures). then we ventured to the four corners and mesa verde--and by venture, we mean take a picture with the sign and then leave because it cost money to see natural beauty. oh heavens.

a storm settled in bayfield right when we pulled into the wilderness town. we settled in a mexican restaurant with friendly folks that all seem to know each other. i don't know whether i would like that or not? we pitched our tent in the darkness after driving around vallecito lake for nearly an hour.

p.s. we befriended our tent neighbor josh from austin, texas the next morning. he claims it's a texas thing when he chowed down his ham and chili sandwich. fact or fiction?

kanakuk colorado was our next destination. we hung out with some really sweet baylor girls. and i finally got to meet the infamous daniel daily! me, rachel, and tara drove into durango for a little running around the san juan national forest in the rain and some durango joe's coffee. we made daniel a "romantic, candlelight" picnic from the roadtrip food we had in the car {we're thrifty and healthy, gosh}. and there's really nothing like seeing a familiar face at durango joe's again and talking about life for an hour--praise the Lord for crit conrad, a kco fellow.

the next morning, we hung out at the rec center. it made me miss camp so much seeing kids running all over the place and having fun. lunch equaled bread, cheese, and a random run-in with tara's cousin. how fun. we later pattered around durango in the red trolley with walt, our witty driver. "walt wit-man." oh goodness.

jesse taylor, another kco fellow, graced us with his presence. we had thai food outside starbucks with a live performance going on. a random mother, bless her heart, came up to me and asked me why i was wearing an arkansas staff shirt.

conclusion: she was originally from arkansas too. her family and our table of four got into a conversation about arkansas and kanakuk. how neat was that?

best part of the night (besides a "family" picture of me, rach, tara, and jesse or harassing the dairy queen employee) was the beautiful bonfire we had with tara's cousin and his firefighting buddies. ...ohhh only you can prevent forest fires. another tent pitched, another land conquered that night.

thursday had way too much excitement. starting with hanging out with leighton and jessica, which equaled breakfast burritoes and thrift stores and coffee and dog-walking at the humane society and checking out gear at backcountry. to my poor car misbehaving an hour outside of durango in the middle of nowhere. to meeting blaze the realtor, who kindly let us hijack his phone for almost an hour, and jeremy the tow-truck driver. to leighton and jessica playing hero and driving out to come get us. to the dunmyres who we would've never met in any other circumstance hosting the five of us for the night--filled with chicken nachos, blueberry pie, and cookies 'n cream ice cream.

the next morning, our trip to the mechanic was blessed. it turned out that all my car needed was more coolant. and...it was free. everything. from the inspection to the liquid.

talk about God's hand in the entire matter. did i worry? yes, i'm ashamed to say that i did. and i'm learning more and more the truth in philippians 4:6-7. ...oh the Lord is good.

"don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

we finally made it to colorado springs to see our dear friend chelsea who's working at eagle lake. b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l...up in the mountains facing pike's peak. it was a nice end to our trip, being surrounded by beauty untouched and unwinding from the constant goings of the week.

the drive back meant a lot of tiny, quirky towns and an unsurpassing amount of golden wheat in kansas. it meant a nice pitstop at the piontak household in catoosa/tulsa. and now i'm back at "home."

if home is where the heart is, then i'm sure my heart has been littering all over the place lately. from war eagle to colorado to fayetteville.

i'm getting ready to move to the apartment. i'm getting ready to turn twenty. it looks ridiculous when i write it because i don't quite believe it. where has time gone? when did i become an adult with responsibilities? when did the so-called future creep up and became the present?

oh heavens.

pray that the upcoming semester, the upcoming season in life will startle me enough every single day. to have the desire to run after Him. to seek His word and for it to speak to me and even more, have me truly listen. to trust in His faithfulness when in the midst of change. to give and receive his love as naturally as it does to breath.

and just like this summer, to embrace each day as a new, God-given adventure. amen.

"Lord, i'm tired, so tired from walking and Lord, i'm so alone and Lord, the dark is creeping in, creeping up to swallow me. i think I'll stop, rest here awhile. and this is all that i can say right now. oh, i know that it's not much. and this is all that i can give. and that's my everything. and didn't You see me crying? and didn't You hear me call Your name? wasn't it You i gave my heart to? i wish You'd remember where You sat it down. and this is all that i can say right now. oh, i know that it's not much. and this is all that i can give. and that's my everything. i didn't notice You were standing here. i didn't know that that was You holding me. i didn't notice You were crying too. i didn't know that that was You washing my feet. and this is all that i can say right now. oh, i know that it's not much. and this is all that i can give. and that's my everything."

david crowder's "all i can say" album has been on repeat.

i love you. see you in a few.